'O' Big Momma, you dirty girl you!

I have to confess that I had a very disturbing dream last night. And when I say “disturbing,” I really mean “hot.” I must confess, internet, I had a nasty dream about Barack Obama.

Now bear with me here. I wasn’t alive during the Kennedy years. I am sure that there were many women during those years who had nasty dreams about Kennedy. I’m also sure that those women really truly fantasized about Kennedy. And when I say “really truly fantasized” I really mean really truly fantasized because they didn’t have the luxury of free porn or the internet. Those poor bitches. But I’m not going to feel too bad for them because while they didn’t have the luxuries of modern day society, they had something better. They had a real true fantasy about their president. A fantasy that only existed in their minds. A fantasy that was all their own. It is quite sad that no one has written about this for decades, but the reality is that it has been that long since we’ve had a hot president. And a smart president, but seriously, like I really needed to spell that out.

So back to Barack. One of my friends sent me an email a few weeks ago titled “Your Christmas Present.” Before opening, I figured it would be an Amazon gift card or something of the like. I had no idea how truly giving this friend would be. And I say that because his Christmas gift was this:


And he gave me this all while knowing that I curse baby Jesus on a daily basis. A friend that knows that I put up my Christmas tree, reluctantly, while listening to Ozzy Osbourne. Really loud Ozzy. While wearing all black and my devil ears.

That, my friends, is a true friend. So thank you friend for your o so generous gift. The gift that keeps on giving. I gift that I hope you, female readers, will continue enjoying. If you aren’t going to enjoy it for my sake, at least enjoy it for baby Jesus. You know he would want you to!