Thursday, July 17, 2008

Lost in emotion

I have had many the random thought in my head all week. I wish I would have been more diligent and posted them, individually. But, I am a loser and lazy, so you get bullets. Long bullets, so sorry.

*Racism. Not something I think about every day. Probably because I am not a racist. However, yesterday, I went on a home tour, via boat with Mr. Racism himself. Unfortunately he is one of my family members. I wish I could say he is one thru marriage, but oh well. The boat tour was a fund raising event in Portage Lakes, Ohio. My Dad has a sweet pad there. Total chick magnet pad, yet he still remains with the same old lady. Hmmm. Another post. Anyway, on the boat with Dad, the old lady and several family members. One family member, who I'll refer to as Dick Weed, dropped the N word about 15 times. Last time I checked it was 2008. Totally inappropriate. But what do I know? I am just educated via one of the best institutions in the country. After the boat tour I drove with my father to meet Dick Weed and Mrs. Dick Weed. I told my father on the way that I hoped he would stop being such a racist pig. My Dad said, "Ooh Mrs. Big Momma, he isn't completely racist. You don't understand his generation." Point one: No, I don't understand his generation. Thankfully. Dirt is probably the only thing that would understand HIS generation. Point two: You either are racist or you aren't. There are no shades of gray when it comes to this issue. Thank you, I feel better already.

*If you are old enough to be a married woman, then you should be old enough not to wear a tennis skirt that 1. is too short (read: shows your butt cheeks) and 2. says "animal" on the ass. Every Tuesday night I participate in a competitive tennis league. It is in the rule book that after a match, you must go to O'Reilly's and have beers. Because we all are rule followers as most of us were raised Catholic, we go every week. I can assure you that the free pitchers of beer have nothing to do with it. This Tuesday we had more drinkers than normal. Every guy brought up "the animal", and I swear almost every guy was shocked by this. I believe this to be true because I'm sure none of them would have wanted their wife in such shocking attire. I also believe thought, that all of the men enjoyed her display and will be waiting to see what she wears next week. I can promise you that I will NEVER have my butt cheeks exposed or have animal printed on my ass. Wide load, maybe, but never animal. Maybe I am just jealous.

*I had lunch with one of my favorite Professors on Tuesday. I was telling him about Jr.'s dating situation. He actually asked me if I was jealous of her. No longer a favorite professor.

*Speaking of Professors, I was telling one (after being asked) about my educational background. Masters Degree, Ph.D. drop out. I was essentially classified as an "ABD," all but dissertation. He told me that he understood why I left because women have no business being professors. Jack ass.

*I have admittedly been listening to garbage music lately. Light rock. Gross, huh? Jason Mraz, Harry Connick, etc. Thankfully I have one cool friend, J, who lives in London. This girl could be a DJ, not because of my love of her choices, but because of other's love of her choices. I admit that I am not cool. My blog title really should be "Total Fucking Loser", "Farfigloser." For several years, she has provided her friends with her CD series, I Kiss You. I just received IKY 8 &9. There is a song on IKY 8 by Just Jack. One of the lines has provided me with a bit of confusion. It is: "You used to feel satisfied, now you feel like Mick Jagger....Jagger...Jagger....Jagger. What the fuck? No idea what this means. Mick is still famous, and rich, at least the last time I checked. I'm sure he has no problem getting laid every night. With that being said, how can he feel unsatisfied? He did sing "Satisfaction," but still. Ahhh, OK, I get it now. Duh!

*Back to Dick Weed and no common ground. He actually called someone a DP. Any ideas on what he meant? Actually, I'd rather not know. Scratch that thought.

*Is anyone still reading this blog?

*Out of the loop. At the end of last summer, I had a decent amount of viewers of this blog. I know that I didn't consistently post this Fall/Winter, and it is totally my fault for decreased viewership (is that a word?). Seriously, if you don't frequently post, you lose your voice. I hope that I can get mine back. I promise to do better. I need to do better.

*I have had serious problems keeping myself hydrated this summer, especially over the last few weeks. I get plenty of workout action in the summer. I have been drinking so much water that I am peeing every 15 minutes and can't sleep thru the night. Is this just something that happens as you get older? Input greatly appreciated. And please don't tell me about Depends. I have been thinking about trying them for years. Sad but true. Maybe I will for blog for reporting purposes only. Public service, if you will.

*Title of this post is from a Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam song. If you know the song I am referring to, you are total douche bag, just like me. It does give me great amusement to know that Mr. Big Momma was crushing on Lisa Lisa in the 80s. I think he even sent her a love letter. Thankfully for me, she never replied. Oh Mr. BM, the life that you could have lead! How ironic that your first wife was a Lisa???

*Am I crazy because I watch "Flipping Out" on Bravo? He is a psycho, but my OCD brain can somewhat relate. Call my shrink, please!

*Am I fucked up because I would love to be a part of a "Cult Jam?"

*Jr. told Mr. Big Momma that Baby Momma told him, and I quote, "I love you but you make it hard for me to like you." How anyone cannot like this kid is beyond me.

*Speaking of Baby Momma, she called Mr. Big Momma to say that the clothes we attire him in are "not appropriate for her lifestyle." Maybe because we actually BUY him clothes? She wanted to come over today and take back all of "her clothes." I was paranoid all day that I would find her knocking on my door. Thankfully, I have 911 on speed-dial!

*Anyone missin on Friday trivia?


Courtney said...

I enjoy reading your post, they always make me laugh. I wish I had the talent that you do when it comes to writing.

Anonymous said...

Is JR going to the family picnic this year? You may want to prepare him for Mr. and Mrs. Racist and their extended family. R&L are going and I have already put out a warning.

Big Momma said...

No, Jr. will be with his own psychos that weekend. I wish there was a way I could prepare him for that....

Thanks Courtney!!!!