Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Confused in Clinvonville

I think I am going to have to rename this site. I haven't been blogging much as I've been busy with my family life. Plus, I think I lost my blogging mojo. I think blogging is something that must be done frequently, so that you don't lose your voice, purpose or creativity. I think I've lost them all. Maybe even my mind as well....

My intent when I started this blog (almost a year ago!) was to blog about whatever I felt like. Life in general. It seems though, that I've got more parenting stuff to post about. That is where the name changes comes into play. Some possible suggestions:

Clintonville Baby Momma Drama
Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!
Quick somebody pass me a percocet with a vodka chaser!
Clintonville Second Tier Big Momma

I'd appreciate your suggestions.

So, with the new custody agreement, we are now able to take Jr. to counseling. The old agreement wouldn't allow him to go to counseling w/o his mother's approval. As you can imaging, she wouldn't allow this. Couldn't possibly do something in her son's best interest. I have been taking him to a Dr. that came highly recommended by our highly recommended lawyer. This is the third Wednesday that I have taken him. After his first two rounds, I asked him how it went. He said fine. I really just wanted to make sure that he liked her and felt comfortable talking to her. It is an effort for me not to pry. I am the original nosy Nelly. They don't call me "The Quiz Master" for nothing. But, counseling is personal and what he discusses behind closed doors is his business. Just because I want to tell the world about my realizations after a good session, doesn't mean he does.

Today when he came out, I swear to you, he was a different kid. He was sooo excited. Excited like she told him he didn't have to change his underwear ever again, that he could eat Jeni's ice cream every day, that he could get a TV in his room, an iphone, a laptop, you get the idea. When he walked out he had a folded piece of notebook paper in his hand. At first I thought maybe the Dr. was writing us a note that said, boy, you guys weren't shitting me, his mother IS a piece of crap. As we walked to the car, he told me that the paper was part of his homework. (Homework! I am loving this Dr. more and more.) His homework was to have a conversation with his mother and basically tell her that SHE IS FAILING HIM AS A PARENT. There is more to this story, but I'd like to keep the rest to myself. It sounds to me like she is trying to empower him to improve his relationship with his mother. He seemed happy to have the opportunity to talk to her about this. Didn't seem worried about it at all. It was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He told me that he now realizes that he was doing poorly in school to get back at his mother. He also, very maturely added that his grades are still his responsibility, but at least he understood WHY he was doing what he was doing. Or, NOT doing what he was supposed to be doing.

Wednesday is his time to visit with his Baby Momma, but we had an hour to kill after the Dr. before I took him home. We decided to have lunch. As he shoved his face full of food (remember, he is 16) I couldn't help but be excited for his self discovery. It was nice seeing him feel empowered and in control. But, since I've dropped him off, I've started feeling worse and worse. First worse because he is no longer in our care. Wednesday is tough for me in that way. Second worse because I started to think about how Baby Momma would react when he talked to her. I've started to wonder if Mr. Big Momma should call this Dr. to be sure that Jr. got the right message. So, I'm wondering what you all think about this??? Do you think that his Dr. gave him good advice?


Anonymous said...

First the blog name. No one that religiously takes percocet calls them percocet. Get with it girlfriend.

Jr should feel empowered. I am sure jr bad mamma will be caught off guard, but maybe something will click. Hell anything is worth trying at this point. This is the summer jr will discover more about who jr is and that is very exciting. It is great that you as parents pushed for these sessions as it seems to really be helping jr. Anyone that has gone to counseling knows how great it is just to say what you are feeling out loud to a stranger in complete confidence. That alone can make a huge difference.

Big Momma said...

OK anonymous, you got me. I don't ever take percocets, or drink vodka for that matter. I am a beer girl!

Thanks for your input.

Anonymous said...

The title,

"The Life of a mediocre tennis player getting her ass kicked by her brother.”

For Jr,

I am sorry to hear he has to do that. He is a great kid that should have everything to look forward to, telling his mother how to be one should not be part of it. If a talk does not work. I say drop an elbow on the mf’er.


Anonymous said...

Nice try bro, intimidation won't work.