Saturday, October 20, 2007

Honey, can I get a chainsaw?

Ask me again, I'll tell you the same...NO. Hell to the no. Over my dead body. Every fall my husband asks me, countless times, if he can get a chainsaw. Maybe because I have two X chromosomes, I don't understand the obsession.

Today we went to Como mower. Each fall we not only have the chainsaw discussion, but we also have a leaf pick up discussion. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how many bags of leaves are removed from our property every year. Dave, maybe we could have a contest? If you don’t know Dave, you should click here. Our leaf excess is due to these….

And these….

But most of all because of this one….

This is the mother of all trees. It is beautiful, but it drops millions of these

And those are just the trees in the front yard.

In the early morning hours this past Friday, my car alarm went off because it was being pelted by acorns. Because, during the slightest breeze the acorns fall like rain. We are forced to protect our melons when sitting outside in front of the fire by wearing hardhats or our bike helmets. You would think that we couldn't get friends to visit this time of year. Strangely, they seem to want to sit outside with a bike helmet on..... Speaks volumes about our friends...

So, back to Como Mower. Mr. Big Momma didn’t get a chainsaw, but got a leaf blower. Not just any leaf blower. It is a leaf blower that has straps. Like a backpack. It almost blew the dog over. It almost blew me over. I strapped it on and was surprised to find that the expelled air from the side of the unit was enough to make me walk like I would after many beers. Seriously.

Manly, isn't it?

Last year the leaves were my job. It took me about 30 seconds each week. Basically the time it took to write a check. The guy that I hired had two payment options: per bag or per hour. I chose per hour. I think that he realized, quite quickly, that he should have offered me the per bag option only. The last bill we received was per bag and I choked when I got it. I paid it, without questioning it because I felt a little bad about paying him so little for such a big job. This year the leaves are Mr. Big Momma’s job mainly because he doesn’t want to hire anyone. I told him that if the “job” couldn’t be done in 30 seconds or less, that I wasn’t interested.

Happy Blowing honey!! Anyone know a good chiropractor???


Dave said...

Wow. I was just staring in the sky the other day and wondering where I could rent a chainsaw.

I guess it's the price for living on a ravine. We have a Redbud that died because of the late cold snap (bark buckled right off) last year, that's small and coming down. But the back yard we were told will have several feet of leaves. Yikes!

Anonymous said...


I do think that the leaves are a small price to pay for living in such a beautiful space. Two years ago, we went on a week long vacation in November. Leaves were on the trees when we left and off when we returned. I think there were about 2 feet of leaves piled up. Crazy!


Dave said...

By the way, maybe your husband can come over my place if I rent one of these beasts and we can just rev it up in the driveway and maybe cut up small helpless things that can't run away from us, like twigs.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the offer Dave, but I like my men with 2 arms, 2 legs and one you know what.

We did have the chainsaw conversation again this afternoon....he just isn't giving up! Chainsaw, BAD.