Its 3am I must be lonely....

I wanted to post this last night, but couldn't get on the internet.....

“Its 3 am I must be lonely. I can’t be help but be scared of it all sometimes.”

Actually, not at all. No to being lonely. No to being scared. I would agree that the moon don’t hang quite as high as it used to. But have you taken a good look the last few days? Not only does the moon seem low, but it seems HUGH!

“I like big butts and I can’t deny. You other brothers can’t deny….. Deep in the jeans she’s wearing, I’m hooked and I can’t stop starin’.”

Aw yeah, who doesn’t like a big but? Big momma got back, hell yeah! I can’t get out of lyric hell. Today was my birthday, 25 plus 9. Yes, I have held on to the 25 too long. I am 34 years old. But, I feel 25, at least on the inside. I am in lyric hell because I am listening to the CD of my life, at least according to my sister. So far, she hasn’t gone too far off. Surprising, since she is 6 years younger than me. So far we have heard The Cure, Depeche Mode, the beach boys??? (um, I’m not that old!!), Nine Inch Nails and Sir-Mix-A-Lot. Not too shabby, huh? If you would like a copy of this CD, just let me know. I would be more than happy to forward a copy. Thanks 1-L, the CD is great. I have already listened to it multiple times.

So why the 25 plus 9, you ask? Good question. I am still asking myself this question, nine years later. Why the hesitation to grow older? You can deny it all you want, but we all agree that it sucks getting older. This is hard to say coming from someone who loves her birthday. I have already started counting down to 25, er, 35. Ouch. 35. 35. 35. That sounds terrible. Almost 40. All day I heard from my hubby (who is 40, mind you) that my bones were brittle, osteoporosis has set in. HA! In reality, I am in better physical shape that I have been in my entire life. I’d like to think that I could kick my husband’s ass, but the reality is, he is much bigger than me. Oh well.

Anyways, what is with the drama of aging? I was reading an article the other day. It was written by a woman in her 40’s. She was talking about how she had seen a picture of herself, 10 years ago. She was surprised at how young she looked, but was aware of how much she had learned about herself and the world, since that picture was taken. I have the same picture. It is of me and my friend T, at 17 years old, seniors in high school. We are dressed as hippies for senior something day. Yikes, do we look young (read young AND thin). But boy, were we stupid. Still naïve about boys, young T wondered if you sucked or blew for a blow job. If only our lives were still that simple. I’m not even sure at that point that I had an answer for her.

So the reality is that we as women get older. But, if you are doing it right, we get wiser. I try to look at the aging process from this perspective. Ones 20s are confusing. If anyone tells you differently, they are full of shit. You spend your 20s trying to figure out who you are, what you want out of life, what you are willing to do, what you would rather not do. Hopefully you figure this out before you enter your 30s. I did and it has made my 30s some of the best years of my life. I know who I am and know what I want out of life. I know what I am willing to put up with and what is b.s. I know what I am good at and what I need to work on. I also am aware of the fact that there are some things that I should just give up on (like smoking for instance, which I did none of tonight, yeah ME!), that life is too short. We as women should look at aging as a badge of courage, a rite of passage. For some reason this is difficult to do. We are told by society that aging makes us weak and forgettable. The reality is aging makes us who we are. We should embrace it. Experience does count. The wrinkles on our face represent!

Being that today was my birthday, I invited some friends over. Ironically, those who were younger than me left early. It was us older folk that hung around and drank by the fire. Was it because the younger folks were tired from trudging their way through their 20s? In reality it was probably because one of them was preggers, others had puking babies and yet others were illin’, but just go with it. In my reality, it was those who were above 30 that stuck around because they understood what a milestone it was to celebrate another birthday. And not in the, “I’m 95 and ready to die” sense. They understood that I was not just celebrating another year of life, but celebrating another year of understanding. Not just of myself, but of the world and the people around me.

What a beautiful thing this was. People who stick around, but don’t stick around too late. The perfect friends, as far as I’m concerned. The perfect friend who buys you a cookie cooling rack (yes boys, I said rack), along with other culinary treasures! The perfect friend who brings you flowers. The perfect mother who buys you a gift card for a facial, knowing that the two of us would go together since I bought her the same thing for her birthday. (And I must brag, the perfect hubby who buys you the tennis racket you have been coveting for months! I am so in the US Open next year….)

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life….take a look around, at least you’ve got friends.”

Yes, Prince has been and will always be a part of the CD of my life. So, to my friends Chris (hubby), Monique/aka Shaq, Susan, Matt B, Deanna, Mike, Jan and Pappy….thanks for coming by. Thanks for staying for a few beers. Thanks for some great conversation. Cheers to you, me and many more occasions to celebrate!

Friday Movie Trivia

Here is your trivia for today, TGIF! Have at it.

"Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows."

Relax, don't do it.

Last week I had my final acupuncture treatment. When I left the exam room, I found myself waiting in line to return my chart and pay. So, I decided to take a quick gander at my chart. There was very little written, probably because the reason I was going (smoking cessation) was cut and dry and because of the fact that I this was my third and final visit. At the bottom of the chart I notice one word, written by the doctor: anxious. I have been thinking about this one word for almost a week now and have to say I am troubled by it. This word has such a negative vibe to it. It is an ugly word, almost as ugly as the word bunion.

It doesn’t take a doctor to put the classification of anxious on me. I am admittedly anxious. So why did this one word on my chart bother me so much? So, I looked up the definition of the word and here is what I found:

anx·ious ( ngk sh s, ng sh s) KEY ADJECTIVE:
1. Uneasy and apprehensive about an uncertain event or matter; worried.
2. Attended with, showing, or causing anxiety: spent an anxious night waiting for the test results.
3. Usage Problem Eagerly or earnestly desirous.

OTHER FORMS: anx ious·ly (Adverb), anx ious·ness (Noun) Usage Note: Anxious has a long history of use roughly as a synonym for eager, but many prefer that anxious be used only when its subject is worried or uneasy about the anticipated event. In the traditional view, one may say We are anxious to see the strike settled soon but not We are anxious to see the new show of British sculpture at the museum. Fifty-two percent of the Usage Panel rejects anxious in the latter sentence. But general adoption of anxious to mean "eager" is understandable, at least in colloquial discourse, since it provides a means of adding emotional urgency to an assertion. It implies that the subject so strongly desires a certain outcome that frustration of that desire will lead to unhappiness. In this way, it resembles the informal adjective dying in sentences such as I'm dying to see your new baby.

How dare 52% of the Usage Panel (who is on this panel anyway?) deny me of the positive usage of anxious. At least the usage of the word in this way is “understandable.” Who writes this stuff? This was the exact context of the word I was looking for, so I’ve decided to just go with it. It makes me feel better, knowing that this form of the definition exists, even though it is wildly unpopular among dictionary writers. Maybe Dr. Pin Prick sensed that I was “eager” to quit smoking and this lead to his “anxiety” assessment. Maybe my desire to quit has caused me to be anxiously anxious?

I think what bothers me most about the anxious label is the fact that over three visits, I spent approximately 5 minutes talking to the Doctor. Was my anxiousness that transparent? After I leave the checkout line at Kroger does the cashier think, “Wow, that woman sure is anxious!” I really do try and focus on being relaxed, calm. But, I’m not even sure I can pull calm off in my sleep. It is just not who I am.

In reality, we are all freaks. Each of us possessed with some weirdness that we can’t control. I probably have a bit more weirdness than most, at least that is what I am told. But, it is this weirdness that makes us interesting, unique individuals. So, I am going to embrace it, and stop fighting it. And besides, what does an acupuncturist know anyway?

If you are thinking of dropping out of school, watch this first.

This is truly one of the most frightening pieces of video that I have ever seen. I will admit that I laughed out loud the first time I watched it. OK, I laughed each time I saw it. But the more I watched it, the more I felt bad for this poor girl. It has to hurt to be that stupid. It has to hurt to know that millions of people will watch this video. I am sure that her family is cursing You Tube and the internet. Hopefully she is too dumb to know how really dumb she is.
Now I don't want to have an entire post ragging on this girl. That is hard for me to say given that my #1 pet peeve in life is stupid people. I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt..maybe she was just nervous? Maybe her cat died right before the pageant and she couldn't focus? Maybe she had a lobotomy? Maybe she was in awe of the fact that AC Slater was standing next to her? Maybe she was peering into the audience to see if Screech was there? But, I'm afraid that I can't do that. There were so many things wrong with what she said. What is really sad about the situation is how the system has failed this girl. She really did answer her question, by example. The reason that most Americans can't find the US on a map is because most Americans are stupid. And she proved it. I read a comment from a teacher about this video. She said that she felt that it was likely that MORE than 1/5 of Americans can't find the US on a map. Her experiences as a teacher in Texas led her to this belief. More than half of her students thought Texas was a country. Worse yet, they thought that Texas belonged to Mexico. Muy mal!
Maybe even worse than the system failing her is the fact that this girl will probably get through life, with some success due to how she looks. After watching this video (and after choking on his own spit), my husband's comment was who cares that this girl is an idiot. What credentials do you really need to qualify for a pageant outside of being able to walk in heels, knowing how to glue your swimsuit to your ass and having some stupid talent like twirling fire batons? He continued by saying that it was unlikely that this girl would end up in schools, talking to the children living in US America, to borrow a phrase from the video. But is it unlikely? I bet the winners travel the country and spend tons of times in schools. I'm hoping that this girl didn't win. Don't forget that there are the freakish families out there who devote their lives to entering their children in pageants. These girls do end up being role models. Besides, doesn't the world have enough of these role models already? Aren't Lindsey, Brittany and Paris enough? I heard that Hugh Heffner is looking to add a girl to his fleet...maybe there is hope for this girl after all. She and Kendra could be lifelong friends!
Thankfully the contestant's responses are timed. This girl could have gone on for hours. It would have been interesting to see how many times she would have said 'such as.' It would have just been interesting to hear anything else she would have said. It would have been interesting to hear the audiences reaction...or lack there of.
Didn't anyone tell her before the pageant that the answer to EVERY QUESTION is world peace? Hopefully she learned her lesson.

Friday trivia on Thursday

I decided to post the Friday trivia question today. I've got to be in Indy tonight and tomorrow for work and I'm not sure when I'll have time to post again. So here goes...

This quote is from one of my favorite movies, drama category. The characters in this movie have jobs that I fantasize about...not for me to do, but for my husband. I have always told Chris that he should become one. Way more exciting than being an architect, at least from what I can tell! Not to mention the perks! One other thing I'd like to mention about this movie and probably one of the reason I like it so much: The f-bomb is dropped over 300 times. Impressive!

Have at it....

"Anything I wanted was a phone call away. Free cars. The keys to a dozen hideout flats all over the city. I bet twenty, thirty grand over a weekend and then I'd either blow the winnings in a week or go to the sharks to pay back the bookies. Didn't matter. It didn't mean anything. When I was broke, I'd go out and rob some more. We ran everything. We paid off cops. We paid off lawyers. We paid off judges. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over."

I'm not sure if this is too easy or it seems that way because I have seen this movie a million times. Again, if this is a no brainer for you, just post up another quote from the movie. This way we can give those who don't know a hint and not spoil it for them! No cheaters, please. Didn't your mother tell you that cheaters never win?

Smokin' in the boys room....NOT

Just wanted to give a smoking update....I am still smoke free. I even drank a few beers on Friday! Alcohol is a huge trigger for me. Look at me go!

I have another acupuncture treatment on Thursday morning. I promise to get pictures then. Last Friday, I brought my camera but couldn't take a picture because the battery was dead. Interestingly, when the nurse came in to take out my pins, she could only find 14 of the 15 that were put in. We were sure that Dr. D. had miscalculated. I got off the table and bent down to grab my purse. I was shocked to find the missing pin on the ground in front of me. Shit, that was probably the magic pin. The pin that would have made me gag with the mere thought of a cig. The pin that would have made me forget how enjoyable smoking is. The pin that would allow me to quit smoking, lose weight and be a better person.

Not quite the mile high club....

Here is something I have been thinking about, sadly, since my flight back from the Sunshine State two weeks ago. If you had to drop a deuce/#2/you get the idea, while on an airplane, would you go for it or hold it until you landed?