Tell me baby

I wrote this post just before Thanksgiving.....



It has been over a week since I heard the best news I’ve heard in a long time:

I am going to be an Aunt.

The morning after I heard the good news, I woke up and 4am and started planning the baby shower. Later that day I was telling my sister about the menu I had planned. I had only gotten to the cucumber sandwiches before she interrupted me.

“But you hate baby showers, Big Momma.”

“This is different. It is your baby shower. My sister’s baby shower. A shower for my niece or nephew. A shower for lil' Big Momma (hint, hint)! Besides, I have decided that I am going to revolutionize baby showers. I am going to make them fun, and not just by serving booze.”

“Are you going to make me play that game where people have to guess the diameter of my belly?”

“No way. Your husbands cock, maybe.”

“But I am not sure that I want a baby shower.”

“You have no choice. This is your first child. You need everything. Besides, think of all those bitches who invited you to their baby showers. They owe you.”

And so the conversation went and continued for the next 20 minutes. We discussed the funny names that her and her husband had discussed. We talked about the fact that I don’t know how to change a diaper. We talked about the fact that I couldn’t wait to babysit….would she actually trust me with her child? What surprised me during our conversation was how calm she sounded. And trust me when I say there is never anything even remotely calm about my sister. I guess she has been mentally preparing for this moment longer than anyone could have realized.

P.S. She is having twins!!!!

P.S.S. So I’m wondering, internet, do you think these cutout cookies would be appropriate for the shower or just wrong?