Saturday, October 11, 2008

The hardest part

Tom Petty famously sang "The waiting is the hardest part." For some reason today, I couldn't get this lyric out of my head. It is probably because, even though I love this song, I couldn't disagree more. Parenting is the hardest part. Let me be more specific: Parenting a teenager is the hardest part. And trust me that it is THE hardest when a girl in 4 inch pink heels comes to your door, picks up your son and drives off with him.

Without even a second glance in your direction. Not just from her, but from him.

Especially when, prior to driving off, you can see the sparks in their eyes as they look one another over. Him as handsome as ever in a black suit, tailored to fit his broad shoulders and lean frame. Her as gorgeous as ever, reminding you of a young Julia Roberts, in a dress without straps and the aforementioned heels. Pink heels. Did I remember to tell you that they were 4, FOUR inch heels. How scandalous!

At least it was for me.

I am starting to realize that my efforts to keep him MINE are pointless. And probably a bit selfish. An infinity of my homemade bread loaves, cookies and chicken papriksh do not matter. There is nothing I can do to keep him as mine and mine alone. He will always be a part of me, but not mine exclusively. And for this mere fact, I am sad. At 16, he is like a rubber band. Pulling one minute toward his friends, girlfriend etc., at the same time getting farther from me. Another minute rebounding to his father and myself because we are good and safe and still comforting to him. The strings of his rubber band seem to oscillate faster and faster with every waking moment. I am just afraid that his rubber band will succumb to the pressure and break, flinging him far, far, far away from me. But, no matter how far he is flung, I will immediately set out on my way to collect him and bring him back.

Fling. Flang. Flung.

Fe. Fi. Fo. Fum.

I certainly am the biggest dum dum.

A sucker. A complete sucker. But I just can't help myself.

Prior to any teen oriented activity which takes place outside of my home, I always go over the rules with Jr. No drugs, no drinking, no smoking and most importantly no sex. Always be a gentleman. And he knows what I mean by this, because we painfully, at least for him, had the conversation about this a few months ago. You must remember that I am shameless in my topics of discussion with him. Nothing is off limits. I feel that by reviewing the do nots, they will not happen. Whatever gets me thru the day, right?

I have a ritual that I do as he walks out of the house, as I am pathetically watching from the front door. I say under my breath "Don't have sex. Don't have sex. Please, don't have sex."

I guess I am hoping that if Jr. hears my Tom Petty song, he will agree with Tom. The waiting is the hardest part. Because he is waiting, just like I've asked him to do.


Dave said...

My girl is only 5 and when she is the one in pink heels (and they soo will be pink) is a moment I can't possibly imagine. When I start to think about it ... it hurts.

{i}Post said...

Oh dear. I barely made it through his first 6th grade mixer...can't imagine suits and heels. Pink heels at that.

Rayne said...

I have two teen aged daughters and I am always having the 'wait for sex' talk with them.
My older daughter asked me how do you know when you are ready. I said, "When you have a wedding band on your finger." She gave me one of 'those' looks so I told her that if the thought 'My mother will kill me if she finds out.' runs through her head, she isn't ready. She liked that answer better.

Anonymous said...

Poor rayne lady. That only works for girls. I think if you tell him he will have to sell his clubs to support a child he may wait.

Tiggerlane said...

My daughter is almost 15...and still a virgin. She hasn't bought any 4-inch heels...yet. BUT...she had a 16 y/o bf who pushed her to have sex, so she broke up with him.

I'm scared to death...I don't want to know when it finally happens...but I do...

Parenting IS the hardest part!

Rosie said...

My 17 year old daughter has been "going steady" with her boyfriend for about a year now - and every time they leave the house together I hold my breath. All I can think is "Let her get through college before she has a kid."
My only strategy is to keep reinforcing the talks and crossing my fingers...too bad that chastity belts are outlawed...I would put on on her boyfriend!!

Anonymous said...

Boy does this sound familiar. I still feel this way about you Big Momma and One L; it never goes away. I am very proud of you; you are doing a fine job with Jr. He will never forget your loving and caring ways.

Kudos to you and Mr. Big Momma!

NariceatL4 said...

Oh my goodness! I visited your blog by way of fun monday, and your next post (this one) caught my eye. It IS hard watching your adorable, handsome, smart, capable teenaged son be pulled away--
farther and farther--
(will he bounce back?)
(will he remember all the important things you've taught him when he was younger??)
...drawn ever further away by the cute young chick...
who now seems to have more influence on him than you do.

Oh it's hard!