I believe in the beat.

Life right now couldn't be any better. Yesterday, I secured an adoption at Ohio State that I have been working on all year. It is the largest Chemistry adoption in the country. Fame and fortune are right around the corner. I'm sooo on my way to a corner office with a secretary sitting outside of it, waiting for things to type, or do whatever secretaries do these days. My company will be throwing money at me, buying me six thousand dollar shower curtains, houses in Europe, private planes people! Right now, you should take a moment to realize how greatful you are that you know me. That you will be able to say "I knew her when." Anyway, imagine my surprise when I roll out of the bed this morning, turn on the TV and see Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo on my set! I almost panicked thinking, who am I going to call first? This is big news!!! Then I realized that everyone (meaning 2 people) who would want to watch it was already at work. My sister and I watched this movie over and over when we were kids. I think we even brought out the cardboard and tried to work our breakin moves. I love this movie because it has it all....rich girl/poor guy, good gang/bad gang, kids fighting to keep their community center, montages (something modern day movies need more of), break dancing. There is even a mini Michael Jackson. Oooh, and I almost forgot, it even has Ice-T!!! And when Boogaloo Shrimp and Shabba-Do start groovin, watch out! You can't hear me right now, but even though the movie is over, I am squealing like a schoolgirl. My nipples are even hard. OK, too much info, right? So right at this moment, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Remind me to buy a lottery ticket today......

Lost in emotion

I have had many the random thought in my head all week. I wish I would have been more diligent and posted them, individually. But, I am a loser and lazy, so you get bullets. Long bullets, so sorry.

*Racism. Not something I think about every day. Probably because I am not a racist. However, yesterday, I went on a home tour, via boat with Mr. Racism himself. Unfortunately he is one of my family members. I wish I could say he is one thru marriage, but oh well. The boat tour was a fund raising event in Portage Lakes, Ohio. My Dad has a sweet pad there. Total chick magnet pad, yet he still remains with the same old lady. Hmmm. Another post. Anyway, on the boat with Dad, the old lady and several family members. One family member, who I'll refer to as Dick Weed, dropped the N word about 15 times. Last time I checked it was 2008. Totally inappropriate. But what do I know? I am just educated via one of the best institutions in the country. After the boat tour I drove with my father to meet Dick Weed and Mrs. Dick Weed. I told my father on the way that I hoped he would stop being such a racist pig. My Dad said, "Ooh Mrs. Big Momma, he isn't completely racist. You don't understand his generation." Point one: No, I don't understand his generation. Thankfully. Dirt is probably the only thing that would understand HIS generation. Point two: You either are racist or you aren't. There are no shades of gray when it comes to this issue. Thank you, I feel better already.

*If you are old enough to be a married woman, then you should be old enough not to wear a tennis skirt that 1. is too short (read: shows your butt cheeks) and 2. says "animal" on the ass. Every Tuesday night I participate in a competitive tennis league. It is in the rule book that after a match, you must go to O'Reilly's and have beers. Because we all are rule followers as most of us were raised Catholic, we go every week. I can assure you that the free pitchers of beer have nothing to do with it. This Tuesday we had more drinkers than normal. Every guy brought up "the animal", and I swear almost every guy was shocked by this. I believe this to be true because I'm sure none of them would have wanted their wife in such shocking attire. I also believe thought, that all of the men enjoyed her display and will be waiting to see what she wears next week. I can promise you that I will NEVER have my butt cheeks exposed or have animal printed on my ass. Wide load, maybe, but never animal. Maybe I am just jealous.

*I had lunch with one of my favorite Professors on Tuesday. I was telling him about Jr.'s dating situation. He actually asked me if I was jealous of her. No longer a favorite professor.

*Speaking of Professors, I was telling one (after being asked) about my educational background. Masters Degree, Ph.D. drop out. I was essentially classified as an "ABD," all but dissertation. He told me that he understood why I left because women have no business being professors. Jack ass.

*I have admittedly been listening to garbage music lately. Light rock. Gross, huh? Jason Mraz, Harry Connick, etc. Thankfully I have one cool friend, J, who lives in London. This girl could be a DJ, not because of my love of her choices, but because of other's love of her choices. I admit that I am not cool. My blog title really should be "Total Fucking Loser", "Farfigloser." For several years, she has provided her friends with her CD series, I Kiss You. I just received IKY 8 &9. There is a song on IKY 8 by Just Jack. One of the lines has provided me with a bit of confusion. It is: "You used to feel satisfied, now you feel like Mick Jagger....Jagger...Jagger....Jagger. What the fuck? No idea what this means. Mick is still famous, and rich, at least the last time I checked. I'm sure he has no problem getting laid every night. With that being said, how can he feel unsatisfied? He did sing "Satisfaction," but still. Ahhh, OK, I get it now. Duh!

*Back to Dick Weed and no common ground. He actually called someone a DP. Any ideas on what he meant? Actually, I'd rather not know. Scratch that thought.

*Is anyone still reading this blog?

*Out of the loop. At the end of last summer, I had a decent amount of viewers of this blog. I know that I didn't consistently post this Fall/Winter, and it is totally my fault for decreased viewership (is that a word?). Seriously, if you don't frequently post, you lose your voice. I hope that I can get mine back. I promise to do better. I need to do better.

*I have had serious problems keeping myself hydrated this summer, especially over the last few weeks. I get plenty of workout action in the summer. I have been drinking so much water that I am peeing every 15 minutes and can't sleep thru the night. Is this just something that happens as you get older? Input greatly appreciated. And please don't tell me about Depends. I have been thinking about trying them for years. Sad but true. Maybe I will for blog for reporting purposes only. Public service, if you will.

*Title of this post is from a Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam song. If you know the song I am referring to, you are total douche bag, just like me. It does give me great amusement to know that Mr. Big Momma was crushing on Lisa Lisa in the 80s. I think he even sent her a love letter. Thankfully for me, she never replied. Oh Mr. BM, the life that you could have lead! How ironic that your first wife was a Lisa???

*Am I crazy because I watch "Flipping Out" on Bravo? He is a psycho, but my OCD brain can somewhat relate. Call my shrink, please!

*Am I fucked up because I would love to be a part of a "Cult Jam?"

*Jr. told Mr. Big Momma that Baby Momma told him, and I quote, "I love you but you make it hard for me to like you." How anyone cannot like this kid is beyond me.

*Speaking of Baby Momma, she called Mr. Big Momma to say that the clothes we attire him in are "not appropriate for her lifestyle." Maybe because we actually BUY him clothes? She wanted to come over today and take back all of "her clothes." I was paranoid all day that I would find her knocking on my door. Thankfully, I have 911 on speed-dial!

*Anyone missin on Friday trivia?

I met Andy Warhol at a really chic party

If you know who sang those words, then we must be kindered souls for sure.

I wanted to make sure everyone out there read the life section of The Dispatch today. The article is about my brother in law and his kidney tranplant. There is a link below for those of you who missed it. It is a remarkable story and I am happy that they have their 15 minutes of fame. How fitting that today they are in Pittsburgh, hometown of Andy Warhol who once said "In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes." Enjoy kids!!!

http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/life/stories/2008/07/12/1_BEST_FRIENDS.ART_ART_07-12-08_D1_53AMO8U.html?type=rss&cat=&sid=101

I say goodbye, you say hello.

And just like that, he's gone. I hugged him as hard as I could without crushing him and I watched him as he rode down our driveway. I knew this day would come, but I didn't think it would come this soon. I also didn't think I would take it this bad. What a fool I was.

Our half of the summer, with Jr. in our possession is over, at least according to the rules of Divorce Land. Ugh. How will I manage falling asleep tonight, without knowing that he is safely tucked in his bed? How will I wake up in the morning, knowing that I won't see his still sleeping frame, burrowed under the covers, in the bed as I walk by? I know this sounds dramatic, but this is the first summer he has been with us, half time. For reasons outside of our control. I know this isn't goodbye forever, but Monday seems like such a long time away. Our visitation is going to go back to normal: Monday/Wednesday/Every other weekend. It is going to take some time getting used to something that used to be so normal. Now normal just seems wrong and I'm not even done with day one yet. What's a girl to do?

Wheels in the sky

The last full day of our vacation, we went to the Vancouver aquarium. It is super sweet, more like an aquarium plus Sea World. About half of the exhibits were outside.


During that day, I had several old lady moments. I was tired. We probably walked 100 miles the entire trip. I am, after all, nearing 35. Yikes! I decided to sit down and watch the sea otters play. While watching, I noticed a young boy compeltely zonked out in his stroller. I thought to myself how nice it would be if they made strollers for adults. Mr. Big Momma could push me around...I could take in the sites, rest a few minutes, etc. A few minutes I realized, they already do make such a thing:






They are called wheelchairs. OK, bad idea, moving on.

But what if....

Vacation, all I ever wanted....

Just got back from our Pacific Northwest trip and it was fabulous. Pictures to come. Between the 2 guys, over 2300 pictures were taken. There were probably about 500 of me, looking dorky as usual. Something about those teenage boys who like to take goofy pictures of Mom....I have plenty of goofy faces, so there was no lack of a subject. And, I guess it is better he take pictures of me, rather than of all the hoochie mommas we saw on our journey.

I have to say that it is great to go away, but great in a different way to come home. Especially to a country that offers free refills on pop. I drink a ton of DC (British Columbia speak for Diet Coke, kinda cute, don't ya think?) and it is difficult for me to ration one pop for an entire meal. Oh, the troubles of my life, right?

The Big Momma's are unique vacation travellers. We tend to go to urban spots, park our car (if we even have one) and walk. It was nice to be in 2 cities (Seattle and Vancouver) that allow for such easy pedestrian travel. I wish Cbus was better in this way. It was also nice to be in cities that have hills and water, something that we definitely lack in this part of the country. The weather was great in both cities, the temperature never exceeded 80 degrees F. In Vancouver, they had record highs of 78 degrees F. The locals complained that it was too hot. Mind you, there is very little humidity. These people would melt in Cbus! I don't think that a drop of sweat was formed on my body the entire time. What lucky fools they are, eh?

I spoke with several friends tonight and was asked, "What was my favorite part of the trip?" Mt. Rainier was definitely a highlight. It is amazing to be in such a beautiful place, where there is still snow on the ground, even though the temperatures were around 55 degrees F. Kayaking came in as a close second. I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I did. Because Vancouver is the host of the 2010 Olympics, we were able to see much of the construction, including the Olympic Village. I wish we could go back for the Olympics, but we probably won't. Vancouver is expensive enough now...can you even imagine the cost of things during the Olympics?

Well, I'm going to sign off for now. More details to come. I think I'm going to run to Tim Hortons, throw back a few donuts and maybe drink a few Molson XXX.....go to sleep you hosers!

Confused in Clinvonville

I think I am going to have to rename this site. I haven't been blogging much as I've been busy with my family life. Plus, I think I lost my blogging mojo. I think blogging is something that must be done frequently, so that you don't lose your voice, purpose or creativity. I think I've lost them all. Maybe even my mind as well....

My intent when I started this blog (almost a year ago!) was to blog about whatever I felt like. Life in general. It seems though, that I've got more parenting stuff to post about. That is where the name changes comes into play. Some possible suggestions:

Clintonville Baby Momma Drama
Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!
Quick somebody pass me a percocet with a vodka chaser!
Clintonville Second Tier Big Momma

I'd appreciate your suggestions.

So, with the new custody agreement, we are now able to take Jr. to counseling. The old agreement wouldn't allow him to go to counseling w/o his mother's approval. As you can imaging, she wouldn't allow this. Couldn't possibly do something in her son's best interest. I have been taking him to a Dr. that came highly recommended by our highly recommended lawyer. This is the third Wednesday that I have taken him. After his first two rounds, I asked him how it went. He said fine. I really just wanted to make sure that he liked her and felt comfortable talking to her. It is an effort for me not to pry. I am the original nosy Nelly. They don't call me "The Quiz Master" for nothing. But, counseling is personal and what he discusses behind closed doors is his business. Just because I want to tell the world about my realizations after a good session, doesn't mean he does.

Today when he came out, I swear to you, he was a different kid. He was sooo excited. Excited like she told him he didn't have to change his underwear ever again, that he could eat Jeni's ice cream every day, that he could get a TV in his room, an iphone, a laptop, you get the idea. When he walked out he had a folded piece of notebook paper in his hand. At first I thought maybe the Dr. was writing us a note that said, boy, you guys weren't shitting me, his mother IS a piece of crap. As we walked to the car, he told me that the paper was part of his homework. (Homework! I am loving this Dr. more and more.) His homework was to have a conversation with his mother and basically tell her that SHE IS FAILING HIM AS A PARENT. There is more to this story, but I'd like to keep the rest to myself. It sounds to me like she is trying to empower him to improve his relationship with his mother. He seemed happy to have the opportunity to talk to her about this. Didn't seem worried about it at all. It was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He told me that he now realizes that he was doing poorly in school to get back at his mother. He also, very maturely added that his grades are still his responsibility, but at least he understood WHY he was doing what he was doing. Or, NOT doing what he was supposed to be doing.

Wednesday is his time to visit with his Baby Momma, but we had an hour to kill after the Dr. before I took him home. We decided to have lunch. As he shoved his face full of food (remember, he is 16) I couldn't help but be excited for his self discovery. It was nice seeing him feel empowered and in control. But, since I've dropped him off, I've started feeling worse and worse. First worse because he is no longer in our care. Wednesday is tough for me in that way. Second worse because I started to think about how Baby Momma would react when he talked to her. I've started to wonder if Mr. Big Momma should call this Dr. to be sure that Jr. got the right message. So, I'm wondering what you all think about this??? Do you think that his Dr. gave him good advice?