Friday Trivia

It is hard to believe that tomorrow is Friday. I could get used to these short weeks. Thankfully we have one more to enjoy before 2008....when the next holiday off is Memorial Day. Yuck!

I am really excited to start a new year and am excited to be celebrating its kick off with a NY Eve party at my house. So, being that I am in the party mood, my mind when to party movies. Here is the quote for the week:

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

I beg to differ, with the exception of the fat part...sometimes drunk and stupid sounds more fun than sober and smart. I am just saying that because I have a mini keg of 2 Hearted in my fridge....I'm off.

Jingle F'in Bells

I am officially in a funk. This funk being worst than most because it is decorated with tinsel and twinkle lights and has been drenched in egg nog. Let me just get to the point. I hate Christmas. I have for many years. I’m not really sure when in started, but I have disliked this holiday for most of my adult life. As I was complaining to Mr. Big Momma tonight about my hatred for this holiday and how Thanksgiving really is the best holiday, he reminded me that I did actually enjoy the last few Christmases. Was he still smokin’ crack last year? No, he was right. I had found enjoyment in cutting down the tree, decorating it, shopping and wrapping gifts. But for some reason I can’t seem to get that “ho, ho, ho” feeling back this year. Is it January yet?

Tonight we started decorating our tree. For as many years as I can remember we listen to Harry Connick Jr.’s Christmas CD “When My Heart Finds Christmas” while decorating. It tends to keep the crabby out of the Mister while putting the lights on the tree. Is there some gene on the Y chromosome that causes men to get irritable when lights on a string come into play? I have to say that I do get some enjoyment out of watching Mr. Big Momma get frustrated. He is normally calm, cool and collected. At least there is something that frazzles him! I digress. So, as I was singing along with HC2 I began sweeping up the needles from the tree, cursing gravity and I thought, things could be worse. This thought process was accelerated after a conversation with my sister. She pointed out the many ways that things could be worse (there are other things going on, personally, that are bringing me down, outside of this stupid Christmas thang). I could be the mother of Jamie Lynn Spears, my bladder could fall out of my vagina (I won’t even tell you why this came up), I could have an adjustable rate mortgage. OK, I got it. Enough said. Thanks sis for the pick me up. So, rather than spend the next 6 days crabbing out Christmas, I have decided to come up with a list of things I do like about the holiday. Here goes.

10. The smell of a freshly cut tree in my living room.

9. They way the star at the top of our tree transforms our living room into 2001 Space Odyssey. Tony Manero not included. My mom gave me this tree topper years ago. It is the one that topped our trees as children. We call it the disco ball, for obvious reasons. Pictures to come. It is truly a gem. Last year my mom bought us the modern day version which has electric, flashing lights. I am afraid to put it up for fear that we will have seizures. One tongue being almost bitten off from a seizer, per year, and we have already had ours…

8. Putting the Christmas socks on the dog. We do this every year with a pair of socks (with jingle bells on them) that my mom bought for me years ago. Notice a trend here? See #7 for more on that. Every year we put the socks on the dog’s legs and watch her wobble around until they fall off. We probably need to get out more.

7. My mom. If she was given one wish, she would not waste it on world peace or a $10 bazillion dollars. She would use her wish to become Santa. Not Mrs. Claus, but the big guy. My mom is obsessed with Christmas and has a basement full of Christmas crap to prove it. She even just purchased her own Santa costume...pictures to come on that as well.

6.Spritz cookies. Need I say more? Unfortunately I haven’t gotten around to making mine yet. Damn job.

5. Food, food and more food. No dieting allowed this time of year. What would baby Jesus think?

4. Being around children that still believe in Santa.

3. A Christmas Story. Some of the best movie lines of all time. “I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!” “Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!” “It's a Major Award!” “Deck the halls with boughs of horry, ra ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra.” I watch this movie at least 10 times every Christmas.

2. A few days off from work.

And drum roll, please. The best thing about Christmas is Harry Connick Jr. I have been a huge fan of his for many years. His music is rich and calming. I’ve seen him in concert many times over the years and he actually sings. No lip synching! Can you imagine? I love his Christmas CD not just for the music, but for the tradition that listening to it has become in our household. Even better, there is a sketch on Mad TV that you can see this time of year. HC2 was the guest host. He IS funny, but the best part of the show is when he sings a Christmas song, while playing the piano and wearing a wife beater. Welcome to the gun show, baby! I just realized tonight that he has another Xmas CD, “Harry for the Holidays.” Reminds me that I need to shave my legs. Wouldn’t want to be harry for the holidays. I’m sure Mr. Big Momma would agree!

Stranded at the drive in....

.....branded a fool. What will they say Monday at school?



Actually, I might not even be around on Monday to find out. I am officially stranded in Boston. Here is what I can see outside my hotel window:









OK, Frosty isn't here yet. But only because Delta has cancelled all flights for today. Wicked awesome! Am I getting pay back for my hatred of the Red Sox? Damn you Manny!

Friday trivia is back!

It has been a crazy, long week. One of those weeks that seemed to drag on and on. Mr. Big Momma was in a small car accident last week. He spent most of the week fighting off the chiropractors and repair shops that were calling him. On Wednesday alone, he had 12 people call him. Isn't that disgusting? Do people really agree to appointments with these doctors?

Now lets get down to the business of the day. It has been some time since there was a Friday trivia post. What can I say? I'm a total lazy, uninspired cow! But today, I am back on track, ready to turn over a new leaf. Again, if this is too easy, just reply back with another line from the movie.

"I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns. Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink. Well they're not ripping of this nitwit anymore because I'm not paying for one more thing I don't need."

Let it snow!

I never much liked winter. Or Christmas for that matter. My cockles did start to warm to the idea of both once we moved into the house we live in now. Can you blame me?






The view definately makes me appreciate the snow more. I don't even mind shoveling it. There is something about the snow that even energizes Sasha. While we were shoveling she ran herself ragged in the yard. When she got tired, she would sniff the snow and sometimes take a bite or two.


The snow and the cold inspired me to make up a pot of soup for supper tonight. Tater and ham. Yummy! Nothing beats sitting in a warm house, laptop and blanket on my lap, working while admiring the view with the smell of tonight's dinner filling the air.


I hear we should enjoy the snow while it lasts. In typical Columbus fashion it will be 50 degrees next week!

Jingle Balls

Well, it is that time of year. Sun hasn't shined for days, everything looks gray and dingy and it is officially cold. At least there is snow coming! If it is going to be cold, there should be snow.

This time of year also bring Christmas shopping. Here is my question to all of you: Is it customary to buy your boss a Christmas gift?

For the last 6 years I had the same boss. For the first 2 years I bought him a Christmas present. I stopped because it was never reciprocated. Ok, I know that the holiday is for giving, but not getting a gift back made be feel like a douche. Plus, the second year I bought him golf balls as he was a fanatic golfer. After he received my gift, he left me a voice message to say thanks. I voice mailed him back and actually said "I am so happy to hear that you like your balls!" Eeew. So now that I have a new boss, I'm back to square one. And, I'd like to keep human resources out of it this time around.

So, do you all purchase gifts for your boss? If so, what types of gifts are you giving? Randy, no ball jokes please, unless of course they are just that funny.

Just eat it

I am mortified that my last post was on November 13. Pathetic. Life has been busy. I was really excited to write and post over the long weekend, but my laptop was down. For some reason I couldn't seem to get my fat butt off the couch and into the den where the working computer was. There is something about my couch that gets the creative juices flowing.

Two weeks ago Mr. Big Momma and I headed down to Orlando (Mistake #1) for a friend's wedding. We decided to make it a long weekend (Mistake #2). It was nice to get away, but I found myself wishing, while in gridlock traffic, that I was anywhere BUT Orlando. We were there for a total of 96 hours and we spent at least 48 of them in traffic. Seriously. Luckily our car time was spent in a Prius. Even in gridlock, we averaged 50 mpg. Not bad. The car has a control panel. Technology rules!



The normal display on the panel showed mpg, power generated, etc. Because I am absolutely the worst picture taker, I don't have one to show you. I really do but it is quite embarrassing. I took 100 pictures in 4 days and a good solid 20 of them are in focus. The coolest display was the above image which showed the rear view while you were backing up. I was excited because I saw this as probably my only opportunity to get on TV. Prius TV still counts, right? I must say that Mr. Big Momma has mad driving skills. We didn't crash once, even though he spent more time watching the panel than the road. Oh wait, there actually was a crash.....After dinner on Saturday night, I was watching the screen while he was backing up and screaming "They are going to hit us" as a clueless van pulled out and hit us. Poor little Prius.


Mr. Big Momma spends a lot of time in Orlando as his firm has an office down there, so he was quite the tour guide. On our first night he took me to High Tide Harry's. Really bad idea to include Harry in the name of your restaurant. Gag. But, how can you go wrong with this




For those of you who are complaining about not being able to read the sign due to my poor photography skills, it says "40 TOP Quality Shrimp, Steamed or Sauteed. $9.99." Mr. Big Momma couldn't pass this up. Luckily he was there on the right day, the ONLY night to visit HTS's, Thursday Pounder night. Here is what he got...

That is a full pound of shrimp, my friends. It also came with a pound of butter, no additional charge.

If you ever find yourself in Orlando, you should definitely pay Harry a visit. They are the self proclaimed provider of "Reel Seafood." How could you go wrong? Plus, it was late and at that point we were reel hungry. Outside of the cheap shrimp, here are a few additional reasons why you should go:

1. Tartar sauce (clearly not cream of tartar you idiots) in a squeeze bottle. Need I say more?

2. PBR on tap. PBR me ASAP. Now I know why they sold souvenir beer cozies. Isn't it a crime in some states to drink warm PBR?

3. I actually heard a man start a conversation with: "I was watching Overhaulin'...."

4. The music. Literally went from Barry White to AC/DC and back again. We even heard Freebird.

5. Cheapest meal in town. $25 tab which included a hefty tip.

6. The food was awesome!

7. The best bathroom sign EVER: In case of nuclear attack, run in the restroom. No one ever hits anything in there. Aaah, just like home.