Friday Trivia

Well, I had the perfect post worked out on my way home from a work happy hour, but it is now lost. When will I learn to carry a pad of paper with me? Probably never.

I decided before happy hour that when I got home, I would not pick up work. Yeah! Tomorrow is Friday and I've got an office day scheduled. Work can wait until then. Mr. Big Momma is out with his boss, so I've got the pad to myself. Perfect opportunity to catch up with some friends and with writing. I had a nice chat with my sister and then with another friend, who I won't name here. She has been going through some shitty shit and found a backstabbing friend topping her shit heap. I'm going to leave out the details so that I can get to my point and to Friday Trivia. Why do so called friends persecute one another? Even outside of being friends, why does one person feel the need to make another miserable? I often wonder this about Mr. Big Momma's ex-wife. They split up years ago, long before I entered the picture. After all of the years that have passed, she still takes every opportunity to try and make his life miserable. You think I would be used to it, but I'm not. But, an ex is an ex for a reason and the dynamic between the two is often hostile. If it wasn't then they probably wouldn't be exes. But why does the dynamic between two supposed friends have to be hostile? No one is holding a gun to your head, forcing you to be friends. I think all of us can look back on their lives and count dozens of people that they are no longer friends with. It just happens. It is even more interesting to think that when two lovers don't feel the love anymore, they break up. Granted, they probably tortured one another for some time, prior to the break up. But, eventually, they broke up and moved on. Why does friendship have to be any different? When two friends go in different directions or have different ideas about how to treat one another, they should just break up and move on instead of sticking around and making each other miserable. Whew, I feel so much better now, thank you very much. I'm guessing this friendship dilemma is exclusive to us XXs and not to the XYs. It would be so much easier to be a guy: less drama, no leg shaving, no PMS and they get better looking with age. Damn!

So on to Friday trivia. I've posted this in spirit of the upcoming weekend. Mr. Big Momma and I are going to a furniture sale in Cinci on Saturday and then having dinner with the family. I am so excited for both. Not much makes me feel as good as furniture shopping, even if we don't buy anything. Mr. Big Momma, I'll make you a deal. Buy me one of these

and you can buy one of these

But then you might turn into this

Oh, behave! It is bad enough you chase me around with the leaf blower. Chasing me with a chainsaw???? Forget about it.

Totally not worth the chair.

Wow, a night free of work and look what you get! So, Friday trivia, in honor of a fun weekend.....

"We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes! I've got to be crazy!"

Can you guess the movie?

I hope the Colorado Rockies beat the Bostini Red Socks Cream Pie, Daring Bakers Challenge II

OK, so my title dosen’t really work anymore, but I thought I would leave it. I wrote up my second Daring Baker challenge this weekend, when the Colorado Rockies still had a chance. I have decided to leave this title because I am still bitter that the Red Sox knocked out the Tribe! I grew up in a suburb of Cleveland and have been a long time Tribe fan.

This is my second month as a Daring Baker and our challenge was to make a Bostini Cream pie. Here is a recap of the experience…..

Mistake #1: I sat down to review this month’s challenge and make my grocery list. I wrote down “cream of tartar” and didn’t think much about it. Until I got to the grocery store. It was at that moment that I realized I had no fargin clue was COT was. I thought about using a life line and calling someone, but figured that wandering the grocery store, trying to figure it out myself would be a better idea. So, after navigating the isles and the annoying mid-day shoppers, I decided that COT was probably tartar sauce. It was creamy and I felt that tartar was close enough to tar-tar, right?? WRONG. Before adding the impostor COT to my egg whites, I figured I would at least do a quick internet check. I realized that the two were not even close to being the same thing. Why didn’t they just tell me that COT is potassium hydrogen tartrate? That I get. Science truly is the international language. To my more sophisticated Daring Bakers, please don’t hold this confession against me. This is my first experience baking with COT! I swear, I have learned my lesson.

Mistake #2: The Daring Baker group has two blogs: one that is visible by everyone and one that is only visible to its members. The member only site has questions, tips and posts of the finished challenge. Very useful information that is helpful to look at BEFORE you begin the challenge. When I made the custard part of this recipe, I put it into star shaped molds. After several hours in the fridge, the custard didn’t firm up. After looking at the blog I realized that many others had this problem. I couldn’t redo because I was out of whole milk (Jr. finished the rest with dinner as a special treat….did you realize that a serving of whole milk has 16 grams of fat and 22 grams of sugar? Yuck!). So I just modified how I put it all together. I’ve got the rest of the cups in the fridge and am hoping for an overnight miracle.

This was a fun recipe to make and didn’t take as long as I thought it would. It did take me a little longer because I had to go back out to the store for some cream of tartar…… OK, I’ll stop complaining about my stupidity.

I am one of those weird people that only likes to taste orange flavor in an actual orange or in orange juice. Anything flavored with orange grosses me out. The cake part of this was flavored with orange. Next time I make it I will substitute strawberry. The guys ate this for dessert tonight and they both really liked it. Jr. gave it an 8/10, Mr. Big Momma gave it a 7/10. Although the custard didn’t firm up, it was delicious. The cake portion was spongy and moist.

You can visit http://daringbakersblogroll.blogspot.com/ and see the blog roll of the other Daring Bakers. It is really amazing what some of these talented people can do!!!

P.S. I made the challenge on Saturday. Today is Monday and my custard has STILL not firmed up. Oh well. It was still a blast making this and I couldn’t be more excited about being part of the Daring Bakers!!!

Game day

The three of us have a one track mind, especially on game day. Here is something that Jr. did. I've always hoped that he would go to Northwestern, but I would be secretly OK if he went to Ohio State. I guess the guys would rather do just about anything over blowing and raking leaves.

Jr. was excited to use the leaf blower, at least until he realize he was actually doing work. I was working on my Daring Baker challenge while they worked outside. I did get outside for a few pictures....

Go Bucks!!!!

10 Things

A new friend of mine sent out one of those emails that lists questions that have been answered by the person who forwarded it on. The recipient of the message is to read what the sender wrote, delete this person’s answers, write in their own and forward on. I will admit that I am one of those people who enjoy these emails as I love learning obscure facts about the people in my life. So, here are 10 things that you probably didn’t know about me.

1. I have never eaten a PB&J sandwich. I took a bite once. When I first started dating Mr. Big Momma, he didn’t believe me. He made me take the bite, but I can’t say I was impressed. The PB&J he made was on rye bread and I hate rye bread. I will never go back for another bite.

2. My dream job, meaning dream job that is never going to happen is to be a Formula One driver. Many years ago Mr. Big Momma bought tickets for the Indy race and dragged me along. I have been hooked ever since.

3. I am deathly afraid of birds. I think maybe I saw The Birds a few too many times. But I have to say that I really feel like birds are after me, and want to peck my eyes out. Several years ago I came home to find a bird in our house. It had fallen into the chimney. Mr. Big Momma was out of town, so I called my sister and left her a message saying she needed to come over immediately as I had a wildlife emergency. She still makes fun of me for this. Can’t say I blame her. Last summer Mr. Big Momma and I were in Millennium Park, walking through the gardens when a bird swooped down and tried to attack him. I took off running and screaming bloody murder. Luckily I made it out of MP without a straight jacket on.

4. I have eaten the same breakfast every day for the last 6 years: Slimfast meal replacement bars, cookie dough flavor. A few weeks ago they were on sale at Target so I bought all of the boxes that were on the shelf. The teenage cashier asked if they were for me. He looked me up and down and said, and I quote, “Baby, you don’t need no slimfast bars.” I weep for the youth of today.

5. During the winter when I have on long sleeves, I always have a tissue up my sleeve, just like an old lady. In fact, there are a lot of things I do like an old lady. I think I was born an old lady.

6. I am a self proclaimed trivia expert in one category. Self proclaimed because there is no way to test this because no one, other than maybe my sister cares. It is not something I am very proud of. I know everything there is to know about Beverly Hills 90210. I have seen every episode of all 10 seasons countless times. It is still my guilty pleasure.

7. Growing up, I wished that Scott Baio was my big brother. I wanted a big brother more than anything and I was a huge Happy Days fan. After watching his reality show, I realized that he is a total douche bag and I really was better off without him.

8. I was kicked out of Catholic High School because of my haircut. I was a death chick and I had shaved the back side of my head and grew my bangs until they were really long. All pictures of this time period have been destroyed by me.

9. Although I grew up Catholic, and my uncle is a priest, I am not Catholic. In fact I have been without religion for many years.

10. I am not a Big Momma. Really, I am just a normal sized woman. So why the blog name Clintonville Big Momma? My family gave me this nickname a few years ago. Did you ever see the movie Soul Food? The matriarch of the family in this movie was called Big Momma. She loved having her family over for Sunday dinner and would cook enormous quantities of food. I love nothing more than having people over and cooking/baking for them. I am guilty of cooking 10 times more food than needed. I’ve always wondered if there is a gene that causes this as everyone in my family does the same thing.

So here you have it, 10 things that you probably didn’t know about me. To those of you who know me, I’m interested to know if there is something listed that you didn’t know about me. Let me know in the comments section!

Friday trivia, yo.

Am I the only one who thinks that the world series is going gay? And no, I'm not just bitter because Cleveland is out. Mr. Big Momma and I are watching game 2 right now. A few innings ago as a batter stepped up to the plate, they had a graphic below him stating that he likes The Dave Matthews Band and The Barenaked Ladies. Like I care. Does he also like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain? A few minutes ago they had showed side by side pictures of two players with goatees and asked "Who has the better goatee?" Again, who cares? This is baseball. A sport where there is supposedly no crying. A sport where spitting is ok. Can we man it up a little guys, please!

Anyway, back to Friday trivia. I am going to present Friday trivia in the form of a conversation. This was an actual conversation that took place between me and Mr. Big Momma on Sunday.

Imagine CBM on the couch watching TV. A Chevy Malibu commercial comes on....

CBM: "Can you believe that a Chevy Malibu costs $19,900??? Holy crap."
Mr. CBM: "I would never buy a car that I could get dissed in. "
CBM: "I totally agree with you honey."
CBM and Mr. CBM singing in unison: "Joe lies.... "

Name that movie. Monique, you are not allow to post the answer. You must post another line from the movie. There are many tasty ones to pick from. This should be an easy one for you.

Honey, can I get a chainsaw?

Ask me again, I'll tell you the same...NO. Hell to the no. Over my dead body. Every fall my husband asks me, countless times, if he can get a chainsaw. Maybe because I have two X chromosomes, I don't understand the obsession.

Today we went to Como mower. Each fall we not only have the chainsaw discussion, but we also have a leaf pick up discussion. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how many bags of leaves are removed from our property every year. Dave, maybe we could have a contest? If you don’t know Dave, you should click here. Our leaf excess is due to these….

And these….

But most of all because of this one….

This is the mother of all trees. It is beautiful, but it drops millions of these

And those are just the trees in the front yard.

In the early morning hours this past Friday, my car alarm went off because it was being pelted by acorns. Because, during the slightest breeze the acorns fall like rain. We are forced to protect our melons when sitting outside in front of the fire by wearing hardhats or our bike helmets. You would think that we couldn't get friends to visit this time of year. Strangely, they seem to want to sit outside with a bike helmet on..... Speaks volumes about our friends...

So, back to Como Mower. Mr. Big Momma didn’t get a chainsaw, but got a leaf blower. Not just any leaf blower. It is a leaf blower that has straps. Like a backpack. It almost blew the dog over. It almost blew me over. I strapped it on and was surprised to find that the expelled air from the side of the unit was enough to make me walk like I would after many beers. Seriously.

Manly, isn't it?

Last year the leaves were my job. It took me about 30 seconds each week. Basically the time it took to write a check. The guy that I hired had two payment options: per bag or per hour. I chose per hour. I think that he realized, quite quickly, that he should have offered me the per bag option only. The last bill we received was per bag and I choked when I got it. I paid it, without questioning it because I felt a little bad about paying him so little for such a big job. This year the leaves are Mr. Big Momma’s job mainly because he doesn’t want to hire anyone. I told him that if the “job” couldn’t be done in 30 seconds or less, that I wasn’t interested.

Happy Blowing honey!! Anyone know a good chiropractor???

Tough decisions

From a very early age I was challenged by my parents to make my own decisions. I remember my parents empowering me to decide for myself as early as 7 years old. For all I know, they empowered me earlier than that, but I just don't remember. My Dad always told me to make a list, weighing the pros and cons. This advise has always served me well, and I have done this many times in the last 30 years. For a control freak like myself, nothing feels better than starting with a clean sheet of paper and drawing a line down the middle. One side for pros, the other for cons. I would rack my brain for items to write on each side of the page. At the end of the process, it was always easy to make the decision. The answer was right in front of me.

I am not sure at this point that this process will work for every decision. Today my sister was faced with a difficult decision. A decision that is too important to surrender to this process. This was a difficult decision made more difficult by the fact that she had to make it for herself, by herself.

My sister and I have always felt that parenting decisions could be made based on the answer to a single question: What would the Cos do? And when I say Cos, I really mean Dr. Cliff Huxtable. Those crazy Huxtables always had a fun (and rating increasing) way of guiding their children to the correct choice. Do you remember the episode of all episodes? Theo entering the real world, working as a model for Cockroach Enterprises? Renting an apartment from Harvey Weewax? I probably remember too much, but it really is the mother of all episodes. I have it saved on DVR. Sad but true. The beauty of the Huxtable lessons were that they were taught and learned in a single, 30 minute episode. Unfortunately real life isn't that succinct. Or that cut and dry. Or that funny.

Unfortunately there is not a single episode of The Cosby Show that addresses my sister's dilemma. Her decision isn't a parenting decision, but a decision to be made about her husband's health. A decision that unfortunately can only be made by her. I just want her to know that I am behind her 100% and believe that she is making the right choice. So, I am curious to know how you all out there make difficult choices? We could use the insight right now.